Does your relationship feel jaded, ill-defined and approaching use by date?
After several years in relationship counselling this is often related to me by couples. They feel the relationship has lost direction, that only tasks are being fulfilled and romance and affection are at an all-time low.
One of the reasons for this can be a lack of deliberation when experiencing those big moments like the first date, the first sexual encounter, anniversaries, moving in together, falling pregnant etc.
Couples today are more likely to let these milestones slide without recognising their importance in defining a relationship and giving it value as a positive and precious structure in their lives. This is occurring more as the extended family structure breaks down and society continues to change at breakneck speed.
When couples clearly decide to give thoughtful consideration and deliberate intention to these special moments they tend to work out a lot better and retain great value as a treasured memory for the relationship a long time into the future.
Why do couples that decide rather than slide through these milestones often fare better in their relationships?
- Couples who deliberately decide to emphasise or celebrate these moments are likely to be more relationship focused, more thoughtful, more conscious of what they value in relationship and better communicators.
- Deciding rather than sliding would make couples practice more at relationship building, working together, identifying and communicating about these important life issues proactively.
- Doing this will simply create far more positive and affirming experiences in your relationship and family.
This also applies to our children who need recognition for their important moments.
Building a happy, loving relationship requires regular investment and being conscious of these opportunities, to decide rather than slide, is an easy way to achieve this. Rather than experience that “use by date” feeling you want to be able to look back and clearly identify those milestone moments whether it be your 50th wedding anniversary or your child’s 21st party and feel it was a rich and fulfilling journey.