How to Deal with Conflict?

There are many responses to conflict including:

• Talking about it
• Physical violence
• Ignoring the problem
• Forcing a resolution
• Arguing
• Insults.

The problem with most of these responses is that the outcome generally isn’t one that both parties will be happy with.

Conflict resolution is a series of steps which can be used in a relationship to enable both partners to find a mutually acceptable solution to conflict and to restore good terms. It does not focus on blame but looks for agreement that something has gone wrong and develops a way forward. It usually involves a mediator who is able to see both sides, ask questions and intervene if necessary.

These are the steps that we can work through with you both:

• Identify positions (what are each of you really saying)
• Learn more about the true needs and desires of each partner
• Ask clarifying questions for more information
• Brainstorm possible solutions
• Discuss how each solution would affect each of you and figure out possible compromises
• Agree upon a solution
• Implement solutions
• Re-evaluate solutions, if necessary