Why is there Fear of Commitment when Making Decisions?

Making decisions is a vitally important role in our lives that we need to utilise many times a day. Some of these choices are trivial like “will I accept this invitation to a party?” or rather big like “will I stay in my relationship?” When the fear of commitment arises in people, it can make their decisions, big or small turn into torturous experiences wasting precious energy and time and placing undue obstacles in their path making life feel overly complicated.

Common scripts that plague these people might be “what if I am wrong?”or “something better might come along” or “I will leave it till I have more information”. They end not making a decision till the last moment when the doors of opportunity have all but closed and only one option is left leaving them with no choice. This process can create chaos in a person’s life and over many years can manifest great suffering and loss.

Every decision that is made is questioned over and over until the only thing left is doubt and worry. This strips most experiences of any real joy and adds up to an unfulfilled life.

Fear of commitment is an attempt to create certainty in one’s life and while logically this seems reasonable and even sensible it is an illusion. Seeking certainty is like finding “the one” or discovering a book of rules that will guide you perfectly or expecting to feel 100% certain of anything. The only thing certain in life is uncertainty, change, the unknown.

Life becomes an exciting adventure when you learn to play in the field of the unknown, to accept that all decisions include risk and opportunity and it is only after the experience that you will be able to evaluate. Certainly we should employ our senses, our

  • gut instinct,
  • heartfelt feelings
  • logical capacity
  • over viewing spiritual perspective

to guide us to our most likely enjoyable experience, but in reality it will always be a well formed guess. Our lives are like sailing a boat, it is impossible to stay perfectly on course. We are constantly going off track and correcting. We learn our best lessons and grow from our mistakes.

I enjoy supporting people to be free of the fear of the commitment trap and to discover the wisdom to:

  •  accept you cannot get it perfectly right,
  •  know that all decisions are as good as a guess,
  •  relax and enjoy the element of uncertainty.

What Now?

Being able to see that making a decision is an adventure that you can’t fully control paradoxically gives you more control of your life. Let me erase these old scripts that are operating out of your subconscious replacing them with an easy positive confidence that allows you to manifest your own destiny and reap the joy of your decisions. Call me now to erase these old scripts and  enjoy an easy confidence when making decisions.

Call Now: 0409 551 475

1 reply
  1. Pania Hetaraka
    Pania Hetaraka says:

    I absolutely agree with everything that as been said here in your article. I am going through a really difficult break up, i don’t even know if thats what you would call it in our situation. Every argument, every phonecall & all irrational behaviour has now set in the absolute FEAR of COMMITMENT. Fear has stopped, as i speak for myself, myself from committing to my Fiance` as i should be. I have alot of TRUST LOST, COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN on alot of levels, DRAMATIC LOSES in my life as life goes on for me. To TRUST someone in order to LOVE is the greatest COMMITMENT i have for MY SWEETHEART.

    Now we have started our Journey with three beautiful healthy boys who keep me on my feet. Hubby works away from home doing Interstate Truck Driving. Now it’s become a major problem, MAJOR problem, too much time away from, i feel like he’s diconnected from his family due to be away for so long and only home weekends, if that..!! Sacrifices yes i do agree but in our situaion at who’s expense..?? The kids & myself. It’s a lonely life, no friends no family, and after all confiding in him, pouring my heart out to him, many of days n nights trying to communicate with him, it’s now caused a nasty break up and it’s all my fault, i don’t appreciate what he does do… blah b lah as you would know the story goes on.

    Fear of commitment… Absolutely… So how do we result such an emotion with two hard headed people…??

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *